Raising Kids:

Parenting Skills for the 21st Century

Sleeping Through the Night

Most new parents discover that they have an entirely different relationship with sleep after their baby is born. Nights of unbroken sleep and rested mornings, somethings you could once take for granted, now seem an unattainable luxury as you struggle to get accustomed to midnight feedings, night terrors, and mornings ragged from lack of sleep.

As your child matures from a newborn to a toddler, your nightly sleep quotient will certainly increase. Still, depending on the child, most parents find it isn't easy to develop a smooth nighttime routine. If it's any comfort, you are not alone: Lack of sleep is a common frustration for parents of young children.

But there are things that you can do to improve the situation. Below are recommendations to help you - and your child — make it through the night. As you'll discover, there really are no right answers when it comes to sleep. You may find that the approach that worked for your best friend is a total flop in your household, or that a routine you gave up on when your baby was one suddenly works when she is two. As with most important parenting questions, you must ultimately decide, probably on the basis of trial and error, which approach works best for you, your child, and your family.

Some tips that will help you no matter what method you choose:

1. Make sure you choose an approach that you feel completely comfortable with.
2. Be consistent.
3. Don't forget that the approach that worked with one child may not work with the next.

Steps to take before hand:

1. Insure your child's room is peacful and comfortable - cool, quiet, and dark. Use soft bedding. Some children do best with soft background noise such as lullabye music, a fan or humidifier humming. Some toddlers prefer a night light. Most babies do best in complete darkness.
2. Keep daytime naps to no more than a few hours. Sleeping too long during the day may make it more difficult for baby to sleep through the night. Also, the more active a child is during the day, generally the more prepared he will be for sleep at night.
3. Use bed time rituals - Develop a routine and stick to it. This may include, snack or feeding, bath time, reading a bed time story, rocking, a favorite blanket that's used at bed time. Being consistent with the order of these steps and how they are done is what's important. The objective is to provide your baby cues that bedtime is coming.
4. Put your child to bed on a full stomach - babies will always have trouble sleeping if they are hungry. Toddlers may not be able to ask for food but should be offered a snack between dinner and bed. Keep in mind that during the day, we adults rarely go more than 3-4 hours without eating something. When babies are awake and hungry they need to be fed. 

What to do at bed time:

1. When it's time, put baby to bed, awake if possible. Use a favorite toy or a pacifier in the crib to provide familiarity. Leave and close the door. Avoid going right back in for the first 10 minutes.
2. If baby cries for several minutes straight, go in, reassure and comfort her without taking her out of the crib. Instead, pat and soothe her with your hand and talk to her. At first, go to her every few minutes, but eventually call to her from outside the room.
3. If your child becomes hysterical, pick him up to console him. If necessary, rock him again and if necessary, feed him to calm him down. Once he is calm again, put him back in the crib to fall asleep.
4. Trade off bedtime duties between mom and dad. If one parent works for too long with a crying baby it becomes difficult to have the patience necessary to help her calm down.

Following these steps will help achieve your ultimate objective of teaching your baby to go to sleep on his own and to comfort himself when he wakes up. Have faith that with persistence and patience this can and will eventually be accomplished.

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